


Why'd You Go?

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Making peace, Mother-Son Relationship, Other, Spoilers S7 Episode 10, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9838556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: When Daryl finds out where Carol is, he has to go see her.  He needs to ask the question he never got to ask his real mother when she left him as a child.  There are similarities between these two women he's looked up to for guidance.  Especially how they both left him.  But there are also differences.  Will Daryl be able to understand Carol's explanation?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me! There is no Rickyl here but you can pretend it exists in the background. Let me reiterate--- this is NOT Caryl. AT ALL. This is just a quick ficlet about Daryl's feelings knowing that Carol had left him like his mother had. No romance in this one. Just some sorrow and subsequent understanding. And a way to show the deep emotions between them.
> 
> If you searched for Carol fics and you are a Caryler, I mean no disrespect to your ship. This is just one way of viewing it through my Rickyl-colored glasses! I respect everyone's ship.
> 
> Unbeta'd because it's midnight. Please forgive errors. I'm tired but couldn't sleep til I popped this out!

When I heard she was nearby and alone I knew I had to go to her. Not just to make sure she was okay but for my own answers. She wasn’t the first woman I looked up to in life that left me. My momma was meek like Carol used to be and she left me just like Carol did. Momma left me with a bastard of an old man and Carol left me with an army of men just like him.

Can’t expect either of them to stay to protect me, though. Why should they? Men should be able to take of themselves, hell we should be able to take care of the women. Why couldn’t I stand up for my momma when she was gettin’ beat down? Maybe if I did, she wouldn’t have left me. But momma’s are supposed to love their kids. Die for ‘em. My momma might have read me a few bedtime stories but she wasn’t no angel. I knew she was happy when I’d be there to take the hits instead of her for a night. 

But Carol… she was better than my momma. Carol cared about me and showed it and she didn’t even need to. I wasn’t hers. Wasn’t her responsibility. Alls I did for her was fail to find her little girl. Carol used to be meek like my momma but she ain’t like that no more. She became fierce, then the body count got too heavy for her to shoulder it and now she’s fragile. Not meek, just fragile. I understand if she don’t want to kill no more. She don’t have to. She can stay in Alexandria and help with other things. But to just leave me? Leave me behind like I’m a pesky child she don’t want to be responsible for carin’ ‘bout no more? I needed her answers. And I needed to see her again because despite the fact that she may not care about me, I cared about her. She was better to me than my momma ever was. And she wouldn’t have done this to hurt me. So I needed to know why.

When she opened the door I saw her tear up at the sight of me. They was genuine tears like she really did still consider me family. Like she missed me despite leavin’ me on purpose. 

“Why’d you go,” I asked, choking back tears. And I felt like I was five again looking out the window as my momma packed a suitcase in the car. Merle had told me that night that I could talk to her on my pretend phone if I ever got sad and I remember dialing miscellaneous numbers and crying into the phone, “Why’d you go, momma? Why’d you go?”

Momma never did answer. Course she didn’t. Was a fucking toy phone. But Carol would give me an answer because she was my real family. She owed me that much.

After she hugged me in a way momma never really did, tears in her eyes, she whispered “I had to.” I imagine, if I’d ever seen my momma again she’d have said the same thing. And you know what? I’d have forgiven her. It wasn’t safe where we was livin’. She was dyin’ more and more every day before my eyes. 

I knew Carol was right. She had to. Because she was dyin’ more and more every day, too. Carol left because she couldn’t fight no more. Because she didn’t want to make a wrong move and cause my death. My momma left because she couldn’t fight no more either. But she left me there to die. Carol left me to give me a better chance of living, because she’d lost herself. And I accepted her answer. And I spared her the details that I knew her shoulders couldn’t bear. And I ate soup with her and I left her. Because I had to. She would shatter into a thousand pieces if she was dragged back into anything going on. I had to protect her because I could now. I was a grown man, not a five year old boy and I had options. And my option was to wish her well, hug her goodbye and let her know that I understand why she had to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Just had to squeeze out a little more from that scene. Next long fic should be ready in about a week! No specific ETA yet but it's coming!
> 
> Also- Norman should win an award just for the way he delivered that line "Why'd you go." It was beautiful and innocent and heartbreaking.


End file.
